OCD
by Neil Hilborn
The Poem
This week, we’re offering another slam poem: “OCD” by Neil Hilborn.
Hilborn’s poem is loud and vibrant, one part performance and another part incredible language. Throughout the poem, Hilborn explores how his OCD drew his ex-girlfriend to him before ultimately pushing her away. He grapples with love, grief, and the intricacies of living with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Filled with heart, Hilborn’s poem reflects on what it means to love someone, what it means to let them go, and what it means to become greater through the process.
So here’s to Hilborn, and here’s to feeling deeply—no matter the nature of the feeling.
Its Colors
With each poem we share, we ask Claude 3 (Sonnet) to generate a palette of five colors that embody the poem’s content and mood. Claude shares its color choices with us via hexadecimal codes, and we share them with you via the palette at the top of the post. Here’s Claude’s explanation for today’s colors:
#4D4D4D (Charcoal Gray): This dark, moody shade represents the intrusive thoughts and obsessive patterns that come with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, as described in the poem. It symbolizes the constant mental cycles and repetitive behaviors that the narrator experiences.
#FFC0CB (Blush Pink): This soft, delicate hue embodies the tenderness and vulnerability of the narrator's love for the woman. It represents the beauty and affection he sees in her, as well as the gentle moments they shared together.
#FFD700 (Golden Rod): This warm, vibrant color symbolizes the narrator's intense desire and longing for the woman he loves. It reflects the passion and attachment he feels, even after their separation, and his desperate wish to have her back in his life.
#87CEFA (Light Sky Blue): This serene and calming shade represents the moments of tranquility and respite that the narrator experienced when he was with the woman he loved. It suggests the quieting of his obsessive thoughts and the peace he found in her presence.
#8B008B (Deep Purple): This rich, dark hue represents the heartache, sorrow, and emotional turmoil that the narrator is experiencing after the loss of his love. It conveys the depth of his pain and the difficulty he faces in moving on from their relationship.
This color palette encompasses a range of emotions and experiences, from the depths of obsession and anguish to the heights of love and tranquility. By combining these contrasting hues, I have aimed to create an aesthetically interesting and visually compelling palette that truly embodies the complexities and nuances of the poem's content and mood.
Things to Notice
“OCD” is an interesting poem for examining craft. Its language is ambiguous enough to blur the tenuous line between the real and the exaggerated—the literal and the hyperbole. Consequently, the techniques we’ll highlight below are up for some debate. We hope you’ll approach each with curiosity:
Hyperbole (Hilborn’s descriptions of events—and his reactions to those events—are over the top, but it’s unclear if he’s employing hyperbole or simply communicating the realities of his disorder—that ambiguity creates an interesting tension for the reader/listener)
Repetition (lines, phrases, and words are repeated, oftentimes accompanied by tics, throughout the poem either unintentionally or to more viscerally demonstrate Hilborn’s experience—again, the ambiguity of Hilborn’s intention invites the reader/listener to experience his disorder alongside him)
Irony (the poem ends with Hilborn “[leaving] the door unlocked” and “the lights on,” demonstrating how the love he feels for his girlfriend overpowers his compulsions)
Although there is much we could say about Hilborn’s potential use of hyperbole and the effects of his repeated lines, we’d like to focus on the final lines of the poem and Hilborn’s use of situational irony.
During the beginning of the poem, Hilborn details his need to do things a certain way—lock the door eighteen times before bed, skip over the cracks on the sidewalk, ensure all of the lights are turned out at night. This establishes an expectation in the reader for Hilborn to continue behaving according to the dictates of his compulsions. The final lines, however, undermine that expectation by showing Hilborn not doing the things he feels he has to.
This use of situational irony slams the heart of the poem home: his love, and his grief, is stronger than his compulsions. Love, perhaps heartbreak, wins out in the end. In this way, Hilborn’s use of situational irony accomplishes more than mere shock value or a quick stab at humor—it encapsulates and furthers his message. It allows the reader/listener to share in his sorrow.
As with all the poems we share, though, we’d also like to offer a few questions for you to consider:
To what extent do you believe Hilborn employs hyperbole? How can you tell?
Do the final lines of the poem demonstrate lasting character development, or is Hilborn’s ability to overcome his compulsions the short-term product of momentary grief? If his girlfriend were to come back to him, would he still be able to keep his compulsions at bay?
As always, if you stumble across something brilliant, or if you have a question that lingers with you, leave us a comment. We’d love to hear from you.
Classroom Context
“OCD” is an excellent poem for engaging reluctant readers. Because it can be watched and read, it’s an easy entry point for those students who feel some aversion to poetry. Additionally, because the poem breaks so many stereotypes students hold of what a poem can or should be, it’s also a great poem for discussing the defining elements of poetry and even how the delivery of a poem can shape its meaning.
Beyond those qualities, though, “OCD” serves as a useful mentor text for teaching irony (situational irony in particular). Hilborn’s irony is generally easy for most students to grasp, and, as described above, it embodies the full potential of irony well played—the potential to emphasize or shape the meaning of a text.
Finally, we also recommend using “OCD” to teach textual analysis and close-reading strategies. We’d do so by asking students whether or not Hilborn uses hyperbole. From there, we’d encourage students to gather textual evidence (and we’d recommend including elements of Hilborn’s performance within the umbrella of “textual evidence” here) before defending their answers. We may even do the same with Hilborn’s use of repetition, and we’d invite students to pay special attention to what is and isn’t repeated throughout the poem to determine if patterns exist that may imply intentionality.
Regardless of how you decide to use “OCD,” though, don’t forget to create space for students to be enthralled by an especially well placed line or idea. Invite them to enjoy.
Important Note: The version of Hilborn’s poem that is linked above is appropriate for most classrooms. Other performances of Hilborn’s poem are quite a bit more colorful (to say the least), so choose and share your links to this poem carefully.